Don't "put it my mouth"

I cherish my five senses. I hate how they're constantly under assault, sense memories being challenged needlessly, because I guess that's the cool thing to do now.

Salty-sweet: sure, I'll have me some salted caramel ice cream or some kettle corn. I can get behind that.

Lavender-flavored foods: nope, not for me. The soap people appropriated that one first. Now honey lavender ice cream makes me think I'm eating a cleaning product. For other people, though, I won't judge. Eat all you want (don't worry about saving any for me).

Things that aren't food that smell like foods: the worst. At work, we have strawberry-scented urinal cakes. Terrible idea followed by terrible execution.

There are, somewhat inexplicably, two exceptions: lemon and mint. Go figure.