Bathroom Blunders

A friend recently explained that, from a woman's point of view, unisex bathrooms just mean they're getting the raw end of the deal. It's been widely confirmed that men's restrooms are just dirtier, unfortunately. It's a plight I face every single day. Is that liquid on the floor urine or water? Does it matter?

I encountered a rather messy bathroom in a rather unexpected place recently: a restaurant considered by critics and chefs alike to be one of the top ten in the world. Certainly, they weren't factoring the bathroom, or it'd rank slightly above a highway rest stop (points would be given, I assume, for the high end Aesop soaps and lotions on offer in this entirely hypothetical ranking).

There was pee on the toilet seat. Not a problem for me-- didn't interfere with my business at all. But, see, it's not that simple. Someone would be in the bathroom after me (there was, after all, only one bathroom for the entire restaurant): would they think I made that mess?

So this leaves me with two choices, really:

1) Channel my inner boy scout (which doesn't really exist, since I never was one) and try to leave the bathroom cleaner than when I found it.

2) Tell the lady coming in next that the mess wasn't made by me; I'm a civilized type of guy who can bother to lift the seat, if only she knew me (would she like some references? I can provide people willing to testify that I'm generally a hygienic person!).

Fortunately, I chose the third option (in some ways more cowardly but, if you look at it at just the right angle, probably the more socially appropriate response that doesn't require me to touch someone else's pee): I decided to do nothing, and not worry about whether or not she thought the mess was mine, since I'll never see her ever again, and who cares what she thinks of me?

After all, the most important thing is that I know I didn't urinate all over a toilet seat in a fancy restaurant. That has to count for something.